Ah, the holidays—a time for twinkling lights, festive treats, and navigating the sometimes-messy waters of co-parenting. Sharing custody during the most wonderful time of the year? It’s no Hallmark movie, but with the right mindset and a little boundaries being set, you can make it work—and maybe even enjoy it!
Here’s your guide to co-parenting during the holidays with tips, mental health hacks, and a sprinkle of cheer to help you sleigh this season like the fabulous mom you are.
1. Start with a Plan (Because Flying by the Seat of Your Pants = Chaos)
Let’s be real: The key to surviving holiday co-parenting is planning. Sit down with your co-parent early (or at least text like adults) and map out the schedule. Who gets which days? Where will drop-offs happen? And what about the 17 holiday events your kids are invited to?
Pro Tip: Be flexible but firm. Maybe you get Christmas Eve and they get Christmas Day, or you alternate years. Whatever you agree on, stick to it—and remember, the goal is to create a stress-free (or at least less stressful) experience for your kids.
2. Don’t Play the Holiday Comparison Game
It’s tempting to peek over the fence at your co-parent’s holiday plans and feel like you need to one-up them. But trust us: Kids don’t care if their holiday has Pinterest-perfect décor or if you made sugar cookies from scratch. What they’ll remember is how much fun they had—and how much love they felt.
Focus on creating magical moments in your way. Whether it’s a movie marathon in matching PJs or a dance-off to Mariah Carey, your traditions are just as special as anyone else’s.
3. Communicate Like a Pro (Yes, Even If It’s Hard)
Co-parenting is all about communication, and the holidays are no exception. Keep conversations respectful and focused on logistics—not lingering drama. If texting feels safer than face-to-face, go for it, and keep your messages clear, kind, and drama-free.
Pro Tip: Use apps like OurFamilyWizard or Cozi for scheduling and communication. It keeps everything organized and reduces the risk of miscommunication (or that dreaded “I thought you were picking them up” moment).
4. Take Care of Your Mental Health (Because You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup)
The holidays can be emotionally draining—especially when you’re sharing custody. It’s normal to feel a little FOMO when your kids are with their other parent. Instead of wallowing, fill that time with things that bring you joy.
Treat yourself to a spa day, binge your favorite series guilt-free, or finally tackle that hobby you’ve been putting off. And if the emotions hit hard, don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or trusted friend. You deserve support, mama.
5. Keep the Focus on the Kids
Holidays are for the kids, so put their happiness front and center. Even if co-parenting has its challenges, show a united front when it comes to holiday traditions and celebrations. Kids pick up on tension, so do your best to keep the peace—and save the arguments for a post-holiday debrief.
Pro Tip: If you can, collaborate on one holiday tradition together, like opening presents or attending a school concert. It shows your kids you’re still a team when it comes to them.
6. Embrace the Gift of Time (Even If It’s Solo)
If you don’t have the kids for part of the holidays, flip the script and make it a positive. This is your chance to focus on you. Sleep in, sip your coffee in silence (a rare gift, honestly), and recharge your batteries.
Pro Tip: Schedule something fun with friends or family during your solo time so you’re not dwelling on the “what ifs.” A festive brunch or ugly sweater party can work wonders for lifting your spirits.
7. Set Boundaries with Extended Family
We all know that one family member who asks way too many questions about your co-parenting arrangement. Shut it down, politely but firmly, with something like, “We’ve got it under control, thanks!”
The holidays are stressful enough without fielding unsolicited opinions. Focus on the people who lift you up and respect your journey.
8. Be Flexible, But Know Your Limits
Sometimes plans change—life happens. Maybe a flight gets delayed, or someone catches a winter cold. Be flexible when it’s in your kids’ best interest, but don’t let “flexibility” turn into being a doormat.
If your co-parent consistently pushes boundaries, have a calm but firm conversation about sticking to the agreed schedule. Boundaries are healthy, even during the holidays.
9. Remind Yourself: You’re Crushing It
Co-parenting during the holidays isn’t easy, but you’re making it work. Celebrate the fact that you’re doing your best to create a joyful experience for your kids.
When the season feels overwhelming, take a deep breath, pour yourself some hot cocoa (or wine, no judgment), and remind yourself: You’re a rockstar parent, and your kids are lucky to have you.
The holidays may be a juggling act, but with a little planning, a lot of love, and maybe a few extra peppermint mochas, you can make it magical. So, here’s to you, co-parenting superstar—you’ve got this! 🎄✨
